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Thursday, 24 January 2013

Graphic Writing - Eithne King


His skin began to prickle with a neat intensity; every inch of his body tingled at once. Collapsing, the man fell to his knees, watching his own flesh blister and seethe with a furious agony. Every muscle he had convulsed and tensed as his cells began to combust underneath his torrid skin. Smoke vapours spilled from his pores; a rasping sound escaped his arid throat. Quivering on the floor his white shirt fibres clung desperately to his feeble frame. Lacerations began to appear; jaggedly scoring slits across his taught body, dark pools of his curdling blood stained the ground beneath his writhing mass. Swollen capillaries flared angrily; threatening to burst forth. Everything inside of him blazed irately. Incensed with the alien technology that proffered such a brutal demise.

Wretched and scarred, the corpse jerked in a paroxysm of movement, the thud of his limbs connecting with the ground echoed dully. His skull swayed eerily as his body finally fell into a crumpled heap, motionless. Terror still etched upon his grotesquely distorted features.

8 comments:

  1. I love this: 'blister and seethe with a furious agony'
    The first semi-colon works wonderfully, though the second doesn't because of the verb 'threatening' and lack of additional information.
    'feeble fram' is great.
    'taught' should be tort
    'flared angrily' is delicious.
    The last sentence of the first paragraph is missing a subject.
    Overall the vocabulary is tight and controlled and just utterly brilliant in your employment of it. The last sentence of the second paragraph has the same issue as the previous paragraph.
    What a wonder to be in your mind!
    Well done.

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  2. Sir, it's not `taught` or `tort`. It's taut.

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  3. Good spot Shaun! A tort is a pudding!

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  4. This is very fancy...

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  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  6. Fun Fact: The most well-known of the typical tortes include the Austrian Sachertorte and Linzertorte

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  7. I feel loved! Seven comments... even if James did delete his -.-

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