My grotesque story
Slowly, his body withered and
crippled in response to the heat-ray. He released a moan of intense agony that
pierced through the air. The flame burned from inside out. It felt like an
eternity as the heat writhed it’s poisonous claws around its heart. His spine.
His soul. Beads of sweat evaporated instantly once released. Fumes of darkness
and shadow escaped every crevice of his body. Embers in the hundreds furiously
fluttered out of his gaping mouth in alliance with screams of anguish. His eyes
drew dark and emotionless as the life was drained from them. Thick pulsating
veins consumed them, deteriorating his vision. His skin crackled and drew
translucent and thin as paper. Tears of solitude and distraught ravished their
way through his dry thin lids, emerging without warning, they glistened in the
rage of the flame around him. Alone, he began to reminisce of the life he
lived. However, not even the flame that had already taken so much granted him
this one last hope: peace from dying. With one last swift movement the flames, without
struggle, obliterated his body, or what was left of it, resulting in an
explosion of a thick, dense plume of ash and dust that darted in every
direction.
Carried by the wind, the plume
left no record that his body was once here, wiping him out of existence. The
only thing left that labelled his life was a single tear. A tear that now held
a man’s dreams, hopes, joy and freedom. This, untainted being was the only
thing that marked his life.
Soon, similar beings were being
harvested in the same spot. The flames took their pure souls also and only the
tears of them were left. The atmosphere was alight with glowing clouds of dust.
No, not dust, but the thin flakes left of the petrified bodies.
DAYUM GURL
ReplyDeleteIs this story grotesque or groteskew? ;)
ReplyDeleteIt is grotesque.
Deletehahahaha, YEEEP
ReplyDeleteAs said in class, this is great Joe. Fantastic use of imagery and desciption. You need to check your apostrophe use in "it's" and this whole idea of the 'tear' confuses me just because it seems out of place. The idea is very beautiful but I struggle to see how it fits, especially as the body has been destroyed. Also why do you call the other umans 'similar beings'?
ReplyDeleteGreat use of language - you absolutely, positively MUST keep this up!
One last criticism: not sure about the 'However' - is it needed?
Not actually that i like the tear thing myself to be honest. I normally use other words if i fell i used the same word to much like if I use although allot i'll change it to whereas or however. I guess I thought I was using the word human too much, so i changed it. My bad.
Delete