Graphic Writing
A puff of green smoke wafted in to the cool night air, luminous against the navy blue of the night sky. The large group of spectators stared at the shimmering rolls of black leathery skin, piled up on top of the enormous cylinder.
Unaware of what was rising out of the pit, the spectators stood staring at the Martians, as the green puffs of smoke rose higher and higher in to the sky. Observers face glowing green and were lit up with curiosity and fear.
The small gun like object rose from the pit like a corpse rising from it grave. Suddenly it stopped and out of nowhere, trees all around started bursting into flame, and there were people screaming and falling dead on the spot. It was like a circle of death. The night grew hotter and hotter; the crowds grew smaller as people fell. This invisible ray of death was killing instantly. Clothes were tattered and ruined, as they lay on their burnt bodies of the former owners.
To clarify: Eithne titled this description...
ReplyDeleteThere could be better words or phrases other than suddenly. A more powerful word could have a bigger impact on the reader. Suddenly is a bit soft (if you get my drift)
ReplyDeleteforgot the comma after suddenly, not you, me 'suddenly, is a bit soft..' at least i think its a comma, me no know. YOLO
ReplyDeleteAPOSTROPHE Joe!
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